Bismillah

As Salaamu alaikum, 

When I started this process I had no idea what in the world I was doing. It has taken four and a half years but I am finally getting the hang of it. Sing a song of Praise for Allah. I had no idea the stamina it would take to read even 1 juz consistently every single day. An now I find that I need to read 3 and I have to memorize my lines. And I have to revise the most recent hizb I memorized at least 4 times which is in effect reading another 2-3 ajzaa’. So really I read 6 juz a day.) And that has to be done just to maintain 5 juz. The aim is 30. 

But here’s the thing. Here’s the secret 🤫. So please don’t spread it too far. When the intention is sincere all a person has to do is show up. Really and truly. Showing up is all that is required. Allah takes care of the rest. I find that my greatest struggle is just being where I need to be at the time I need to be there and starting my process. Once I begin Allah takes over. I am instantaneously amazed at the progress I make. Making the decision to get there… that has been hard. And it has been a source of pain deep in my spirit.

I want  Quran and I need Quran. But what if I neglect my children or family and Allah becomes angry with me? (That excuse barely makes sense.) Or what if I can’t really do it and I give up and fail in front of my kids. (That excuse for not showing up makes even less sense.) Nevertheless… It still is a source of worry.

Anyway This week I will do something different. I will not think. I will tell myself what to do and simply execute!. 

1. Don’t complain. Yes it’s awful that my potty trained daughter peed on the floor because she didn’t feel like going to the bathroom. But so what. If I reach old age and end up peeing on floors and crying about, she can clean it up. Bwahahahahaa.

2. Put Quran first. The first to do. The only to do every Quran workday is Quran. Allah has already taken care of the rest. 

3. Suck It Up. I am not the most hurt person in the world. Whatever the hardship, problem, pain, heartache, etc. someone else will always win the who suffers the most contest. So stop trying to compete. Suck it up and do the work.

4. Always tell yourself something good. It takes guts to memorize quran. I have guts. I have heart.